Forgotten Life, Missing Truths
by Swef Elizzy
Summary: Merlin is a Noble of Nemeth, but when he is attacked by Mercenaries, he loses him memory and ends up in Ealdor with Hunith. When Mithian comes to Camelot, will she recognise her childhood friend? If she does, then will he remember her or will corrupt nobles get in the way of Merlin's happy ending? Eventual Merthian.
1. Prologue

**Take two. I honestly have no idea how the code crept in but I'll try again.**

 **Here is my brand new written a long time ago Merthian (at least that's the plan) fic. It's been sitting on my laptop for a while and my Christmas Holidays have just begun so I figured I should put some effort into it. The Updates will probably be slow and irregular as my internet been crazy for a while but I promise I will finish. This is only the prologue so the chapters will be a lot longer.**

 **I don't own BBC Merlin.**

* * *

 **Forgotten Life, Missing Truths**

 _A Merlin Fanfic_

He caused quite a stir in the constant life of Ealdor. Of course, this was to be expected. A young boy of fourteen with only his first name and age to fill the blank spaces in his mind. A boy in clothes that once would have been fit for a king but were now tattered, torn and faded. A youthful face with regal features; high, sharp cheekbones, a strong jaw, prominent ears and deep blue, crystallite eyes.

He was found in the forest by Hunith, a middle-aged widow whose child was still-born and never had the courage to try again. She took him in and cared for him like he was the child she never had but always wanted. She fed and cared for him patiently as the frustration of not remembering anything built. She protected him from the rumours and gossip of the other villages…

And kept his magic a secret from everyone.

Over the next three years, Merlin started to remember small details- a name, an eye colour, a voice, a laugh, a sweet, tarty flavour- but mostly his mind sub-consciously focused on a friend. Long dark hair, pale skin and a kind smile.

Hunith did everything to keep him safe, but no one ever said that raising the great and powerful Emrys was going to be easy. With an extra mouth to feed, the frustration of not knowing who he was and the looming possibility of someone finding out about his magic, Hunith was constantly living in fear, frustration and desperation.

It was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do, but soon after Merlin's seventeenth birthday, she sent him to Camelot.

This is where our story begins.


	2. Chapter 1

**_Hello again. This is a rewrite of the very first episode. I couldn't think of any other way to start it properly so here it is. The next chapter is when Mithian comes. It is a bit of a filler but it didn't seem right just to jump straight in so think of this as a not-quite-a-Prologue. You'll probably be able to tell what parts I wrote recently and what i wrote a while ago. You'll probably also be able to tell I wanted to get this done quickly... Oh well._**

 ** _Read on!_**

* * *

 ** _Forgotten Life, Missing Truths_**

A Merlin Fanfic

Camelot was beautiful. Merlin knew this the moment he rose over a hill only a few miles from his destination.

The castle was made with white stones that glowed in the morning light. The points of the tall turrets and towers were darker and looked like perfect triangular mountains in the distance against the orange sky. The lower town, currently in shadow, fanned out at the base of the majestic structure and its roads twisted and turned up a small slope which, even at this time of morning, had the makings of a bustling marketplace with many early morning shoppers and store owners who were setting up for a new day already up and moving about.

By the time Merlin reached the market, the streets were full and all the stalls were over flowing merchandise. The amount of colour was overwhelming for Merlin who was used to the simple browns, greens and greys of Ealdor and Merlin found himself turning his head in every direction.

It was here, in the crush of people that things started to blur. He looked around and saw different people, a different castle and different smells. A castle that was squarer than the one Merlin was looking at with towers rather than turrets on every corner. The stones were less of a pale, creamy colour and more a pale blue in light like the stones were crafted from the clouds in the sky. A castle with strong walls and-

Merlin stopped in the middle of the road as he tried to figure out where that thought came from. It wasn't the first time that he had remembered details about his life before Ealdor but why would he be thinking of a castle? Did he live in one or was he a villager in the lower town? What castle was it?

He almost let out a loud groan before remembering where he was. With his head bent down, he hurried up to where he could see the gate to the castle courtyard.

When the courtyard came into view, the first thing Merlin noticed was the general hush of the crowd. It was as if they were hypnotised by what they saw in front of them.

As Merlin pushed his way to the middle of the gathering, he noticed three things; Uther Pendragon, king of Camelot, was filing onto a balcony above the courtyard flanked by several knights, a man was being led out in chains from what Merlin presumed to be the dungeons, and there was a large chopping block on a small platform in the centre of the yard.

"Let this serve as a lesson to all," the voice of Uther Pendragon rang out, echoing around the courtyard. "This man, Thomas James Collins, is adjudged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic, and pursuant of the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices have been banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery, there is but one sentence I can pass."

Uther nodded to the guards on either side of Thomas led him onto the platform and his head was pushed down onto the chopping block. Time seemed to slow down as the executioner raised the axe with Uther's hand then let it drop onto Thomas' neck with a sickening crunch as his hand sliced down through the air.

Merlin tuned out the remainder of Uther's speech as his thought strayed. _That could be me,_ he thought, growing slightly panicked. _That could be my head on the block in only a few days if I'm not careful. It could be my head rolling on the floor, my blood on the cobblestones. My-_

His terrified thoughts were interrupted by a loud wail. The crowd parted to reveal an elderly woman. "There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic," she declared. "It is _you_! With your hatred and your ignorance! _You took my son!_ And I promise you, before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears." She took in a deep breath then avowed a line that chilled Merlin to the bone. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a _son_ for a _son_."

Her voice broke as she mentioned her son that was brutally taken from her.

"Seize her," Uther ordered, a wild, fearful look in his eyes.

The woman grasped something around her neck and hissed a spell that made Merlin shudder and making the guards back way from her warily as a wind whipped up around her and she disappeared into it.

The crowd broke away quickly, almost as if this was an everyday occurrence, and Merlin hurriedly entered the castle through a side door before stopping to ask a nearby guard the way to the court physician's chambers.

As Merlin walked into the Court Physicians chamber, he was struck by the scent of herbs, books and potent, unnamed liquids. Once again, another room flashed before Merlin's eyes, similar in content but slightly larger and more organised. The image vanished before he could get a good look at it.

Looking around, he couldn't immediately spot the elderly Physician, but after calling out once or twice and looking up a wooden ladder to a somewhat rickety looking balcony, he finally saw the man he was looking for. Clearing his throat once, the man turned around and fell backwards of the platform, the wooden railing doing little to stop his fall.

Instinctively, the time around Merlin slowed and he looked around to find a surface that could break his fall. Spotting a bed in the corner of the room, Merlin focused and moved it under the falling man.

As time resumed again, the man fell onto the bed with a loud crash but quickly got back up again and faced Merlin. " _What_ did you just do?" he demanded.

"Umm…" came Merlin's intelligent reply.

"Tell me!"

 _Oh, this is it. My head will be where Thomas' was by tomorrow morning and I haven't even been here a day._

"I-I-I have no idea what happened," Merlin stuttered.

"If _anyone_ had seen that…" Gaius continued.

"Well you did," Merlin muttered under his breath which only gained a raised eyebrow. "I mean, no! That- that was, that was nothing to do with me. That- that was..."

"I know what it was! I just want to know where you learned how to do it!"

"I-," Merlin stuttered.

"So how is it you know magic?" Gaius said, peering at him intently.

"I _don't_ ," Merlin insisted.

"Where did you study?" he inquired. "Answer me!" he exclaimed when he didn't get any sort of answer.

"I-I've never studied magic or, or been taught." _At least I can't remember if I did_.

"Are you lying to me, boy?" Gaius asked, suspiciously.

"What do you want me to say?" Merlin questioned, exasperated.

"The truth!" Gaius exclaimed.

"I don't know how I can do it!" Merlin blurted.

Gaius' narrowed slightly. "Who are you?"

"Oh, um… I'm Merlin."

Gaius looked at him in a new light. "Hunith's boy?"

"Yes!" Melrin replied, relieved.

"But you're not meant to be here till Wednesday!"

"It is Wednesday." Melrin started to wonder if this man was completely sane.

"Ah, right then," Gaius said slowly. "You better put your bag in there," Gaius pointed up a staircase at the back of the room.

Merlin started towards the staircase before turning back. "You- you won't say anything about, erm..." he trailed off.

"No," Gaius promised. "Merlin? I should say thank you."

Merlin grinned back at the wizened physician before continuing up to his room.

As he entered his new accommodations and put down his bag, Merlin couldn't help but smile. He had made it! He was in _Camelot_ _and_ nothing life threatening had happened the _entirety_ of the journey!

 _Well,_ he mused, as he caught sight of some guards as he looked out the window over the lower town. _If witnessing an execution and revealing his secret to someone within minutes of entering the castle walls counts as nothing._

Merlin grimaced slightly before looking around his tiny room carefully. He noted, as he sat on the bed against one wall, that it was more comfortable than the simple straw pellet that he had in Ealdor, but was still far from the luxuries he had before…

Merlin quickly tried to lock on that thought and find out more but it slipped away, leaving Merlin, frustrated and irritated, to flop onto his bed with a groan.

* * *

 _'Merlin... Merlin…'_

Merlin groaned as he woke in his new bedchambers. For a moment, he blinked at the ceiling before grinning largely and rushing to get changed.

Near bounding down the stairs, he stopped short at the foot as he once more took in the physicians chambers.

"I got you water," Gaius said, pulling him out of his thoughts. "You didn't wash last night."

"Sorry," Merlin grinned sheepishly.

Gaius smiled kindly, gesturing to the table. "Help yourself to breakfast."

Merlin gratefully sat down on the rickety table, pulling a bowl of watery porridge towards him. _Oh well, at least it's something_ , he mused as he pushed it around with his spoon.

Gaius raised an eyebrow at the boy in front of him. Hesitating slightly, he moved forward, reached out a hand and knocked the bucket of water off the table. Merlin, noticing just before it tipped, stood up suddenly and stopped it, his magic reacting instinctively. Gaius gasped and looked in amazement at the young boy as he gingerly reached out, took hold of the bucket and collected the suspended water droplets before placing the still full bucket back on the table.

"How-how did you do that? Did you… incant a spell in your mind?"

Merlin swallowed slightly. "I don't know any spells."

Gaius frowned slightly. "So what did you do? There must be something!"

Merlin looked away for a moment. "It just happens."

Gaius seemed at a loss for words. "Well, we better keep you out of trouble. You can help me until I find some paid work for you. Here," he said as he handed Merlin a small pouch. "Hollyhock and Feverfew for Lady Percival, and this is for Sir Olwin," Gaius continued, holding up a small vial with a pasty yellow substance in it. "He's as blind as a weevil, so warn him not to take it all at once," Gaius warned.

"Okay," Merlin replied simply, too confused to point out that he had no idea who those people were.

"And here," Gaius said, picking up a plate with a sandwich on it and holding it out for Merlin who smiled and took it gratefully.

"Off you go."

* * *

Merlin was walking leisurely through the castle and lower town having finished delivering the potions Gaius had given him. Spinning around every few seconds, he took in all the sights and sounds Camelot had to offer. He was crossing the drawbridge into the Knights training ground when he stopped as he caught the start of a troublesome conversation.

"…Sun," he caught, just within hearing distance of a group of Knights.

"But- it's not that bright," a young serving boy, no older than himself said, confused.

"A bit like you, then," the blonde and seeming leander of the group said while the rest laughed.

Merlin frowned slightly at the implication. If the boy wasn't up to his standards he should find one that was, not torment his for the sake of it.

The servant seemed to cower under the gaze of the blonde. "I- I'll put the target on the other end, shall I, Sir?"

The blonde smirked slightly as the boy picked up the target and started walking it over, seeming to nearly collapse at the weight.

Distantly, Merlin heard the other knights egging on the blond to do something foolhardy. "Teach him a lesson. Go on, boy."

The blonde looked at the older knights before looking at the struggling servant. His eyes seemed to soften for a moment before his mouth slid into a smirk. "This'll teach him," he said, before he grasped a knife and threw it at the target, the boy still struggling to move it.

Surprised, the boy the boy let out a strangled yelp, nearly dropping the target as the blade made impact, only catching it just before it fell to the ground but with a slight wince as the weight pulled on his arm.

"Don't stop!" the blonde ordered, flipping another blade into his hand.

"Here?" the boy asked, moving a few steps backwards while checking the suns position.

"I told you to keep moving," the prat said before throwing another dagger.

The boy shuffled to one side, flinching as another blade hit the board he was carrying. Again and again, yet another blade hit the board as the boy continued to move to either side. Finally, he brought his hands in front of his face in reflex and the target rolled away.

Merlin's frown became deeper as the boy scuttled after it before placing his foot on it to stop the boy continuing.

"That's enough," Merlin stated.

The blonde ponce spun around from where he was laughing with his goons, surprise and shock etched into his face. "What?"

"You've had your fun, my friend. Leave the boy alone."

The ponce raised an eyebrow. "Do I know you?"

Merlin raised his chin high. "No."

"Yet you called me 'friend?'"

Merlin smiled coldly. "That was my mistake."

"Yes, I think so.

"Obviously," Merlin scowled as he looked at him critically.

As if possessed by some deep hide part of himself, he continued. "If you are so set on having moving target practice, why don't you dress one of your buddies in armour, and if you're good enough, he'll bruise, if he's good enough, he'll dodge," Merlin deadpanned.

The ponce snorted. "That's the Nemethian way," he said arrogantly.

"It's effective," Merlin deadpanned.

The blonde was speechless for a moment. Clearly, he hadn't been shown as much disrespect in his life as the last few minutes. "Are you volunteering?" he fired back.

Merlin smirked slightly though he had no idea where the words were coming from. "I wouldn't if I were you."

"Why? What are you going to do to me?" he asked, mockingly.

"Try it."

The blonde seemed surprised by the answer and hesitated for a moment but slipped a knife from the array along the table behind him and went into a throwing stance while Merlin stood comfortably with his hands behind his back.

Without warning, the blonde pulled back his arm and let the knife spin through the air towards Merlin. The small crowd that had gathered watched in shocked horror as the boy stood stoically, not even attempting to move, before sighing slightly as it flew past not an inch from his head. Frowning, the blonde threw another. This time, Merlin leaned left slightly and the knife went sailing past his ear.

Frustrated and embarrassed, the blonde thew one more knife and this time, Merlin stood his ground before spinning and plucking the knife from the air (if anyone saw a gold tinge in his eyes, the sun was still shining overhead), then sending it back to the ponce with pin-point accuracy.

The blonde yelped loudly before jerkily falling to the ground. When he stood back up again, there was a fire in his eyes and Merlin felt a creeping sensation crawling up his spine, his nerves finally making an appearance.

Suddenly, two pairs of hands grabbed his shoulders and pushed him to his knees while the blonde stalked up to him.

"I'll have you thrown in jail for that!"

Merlin glared up at him. "Who do you think you are?" he demanded.

The blonde dew himself up straight and Merlin was reminded of the tale his mother used to tell him about, _The Tyrant King,_ which made perfect sense at the prince's next words.

"I am the King's son, Prince Arthur."

* * *

Spending the night in the cells was not something Merlin had high on his to do list. So when he was pushed into the small stone room with little light and only a thin pile of straw, he found nothing else to do but curse his luck and this 'Prince Arthur' guy who was so stuck up he couldn't even appreciate someone just as good as him.

It was on this train of thought however that Merlin was interrupted by a echoing in his head repeating the one word, or more, one _name._

 _'Merlin... Merlin…'_

Slowly sitting up, Merlin turned his head this way and that, attempting to locate the person repeating his name.

 _'Merlin…'_ he heard again.

Kneeling down, he placed his ear on the floor, attempting to locate the sound.

And that was how Gaius found him.

"Merlin," he said, and said person could already sense the _'you're in big trouble'_ tone in his voice.

"You never cease to amaze me! The one thing that someone like you should do is keep your head down, and what do you do? You behave like an idiot."

Merlin smiled slightly "I'm sorry…"

Gaius continued as if he hadn't interrupted. "You're lucky. I managed to pull a few strings to get you released."

This time, Merlin's smile was full. "Oh, thank you! Thank you! I won't forget this!" he promised.

Gains smirked slightly and Merlin was suddenly worried. "No, I should think not."

That was how Merlin found himself squinting through rotten tomato juice, unable to wipe it away, and staring down ecstatic children as they gleefully pelted him with rotten potatoes, ignoring the dark looks he sent their way.

He found no help from Gaius, who only laughed loudly as he walked past. Merlin found himself realising why all his tenants smiled at him when he released them from the stocks and-

Before he could ponder that thought, a shadow fell upon him, and he found himself looking into the pretty face of a dark haired and skinned maidservant.

"I'm Guinevere," she introduced, "but most people call me Gwen. I'm the Lady Morgana's maid."

Merlin stared at her for a moment, slightly lost, before shaking his head slightly. "I'm Merlin," he said, twisting his hand awkwardly to shake hers.

There was a short pause when neither really had anything to say.

"I saw what you did," she finally blurted out. "I mean yesterday," She continued as he looked at her weirdly.

"Ah," Merlin shuffled slightly. "Right."

"I just wanted to-" She stopped, thinking about her words. "It's great you stood up to him and it was a great thing you did and everyone thought you were a real hero and-"

Merlin interrupted her rambling with a snort. "I'm hardly a hero. I could have beaten him, knocked him down a peg."

Gwen stopped and looked at him skeptically. "You think? Because you don't look like one of these big, muscle-y kind of fellows."

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "Thanks."

"No! No," Gwen backtracked. "I'm sure you're stronger than you look. I saw you throw that knife back there and you almost had him it's just, erm... Arthur's one of these real rough, tough, save the world kind of men, and... well… you don't-"

"Thanks," Merlin deadpanned, interrupting her again. Now, if you'll excuse me, Guinevere. My fans are waiting."

Gwen turned to see the children lining up along the stocks again impatiently grabbing the dreaded rotten fruit out of large baskets, and she quickly rushed away with a brief apologetic smile.

* * *

After a long talking to from Gaius and an enlightening conversation about his magic, Merlin was sent to give a potion to a Lady Helen and Merlin once again found himself lost.

After walking up and down several staircases, backtracking along an abundance of hallways and pestering several knights and guards for directions until they walked off red faced, he finally knocked lightly on the -hopefully- correct door before slowly nudging it open.

He walked in, looking around with his lips pressed together and eyebrows scrunched slightly.

This lifestyle seemed so… Merlin struggled to put a finger on it.

Shaking his head for what seemed the millionth time, he put the potion bottle on the vanity table before turning to leave-

Then he froze.

Turning back, he studied a worn book that was half covered by a piece of deep velvet. Lying next to it was a small, hand-crafted doll that, although stationary, looked a bit like it was writhing in pain.

The sudden clicking of footsteps reached Merlins ears and he just had time to fling the cloth back over the book and spin around when Lady Helen cautiously stepped through the door.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked, her face tight with suspicion.

"Oh, I, ah… I was asked to deliver this," Merlin stammered slightly.

Picking up the vial, Merlin walked over, placing the vial in her hand, then practically running from the room.

* * *

It was on an errand for Gaius collecting some herbs from a supplier in the lower town when Merlin had his second run-in with the Prince of Prats.

He was searching for the house of one Julian, and finally, after stopping several times for directions, was nearing a small home with bundles of what looked like rosemary hanging on the doorframe, drying in the mid-day sun when he was once again interrupted by the blonde.

"How was your time in the dungeons? Did you start defending the rats too?" he jibed and the knights behind him laughed obnoxiously. "Aw, don't run away!" he called where Merlin kept walking.

Merlin stopped and breathed slowly. "Are you _trying_ to get me thrown in a cell?" he deadpanned.

Arthur snorted. "Thank God. I thought you were dumb _and_ deaf."

"Look, you're an ass. A royal one, I'll give you that, but an ass none the less," he said as he turned to face the prince.

Arthur snorted. "A small boy with a big mouth. That's a dangerous mix."

"Not if you know how to dodge a fist," Merlin shot back.

Arthur "I could take you apart with one blow."

"Are you sure?" Merlin challenged.

* * *

Merlin paid for that comment in the form of public humiliation.

Again.

Then, as if being knocked to the ground by a broom wasn't enough, Melin found himself being confronted by Gaius the moment they entered their quarters.

"How could you be so foolish?!" Gaius yelled. "Magic must be studied, mastered, and used for good, _not_ for idiotic pranks!"

"What is there to master? I have been able to move objects as long as I can remember! I don't have the resources to do as you say and in any case, he needed to be taught a lesson and I was the only one willing to do it!" Merlin argued back.

"You should know how to control yourself!"

"What, so I'm just supposed to control something I've been told to fear and hide?" he demanded incredulously before he turned and stormed up the stairs into his room.

It was a while later that he heard Gaius' soft footsteps climbing the stairs. A moment later, the door softly creaked open and gaius came in.

Merlin didn't move from his position on his bed, even as Gaius said "sit up. Take your shirt off."

The physician sighed and walked further into the room before sitting on the bed next to him. "Merlin," he said softly.

Silently, Merlin sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, exposing the bruising beneath. It was quiet for a moment before Merlin broke it. "I'm not a monster, am I?"

Gaius froze before he forced Merlin's eyes onto his own. "Don't _ever_ think that."

"Then why am I like this? Please, Gaius," Merlin pleaded.

Gaius sighed sadly and said simply, "I don't know."

* * *

 _Merlin... Merlin..._

This was really starting to annoy him now. With a sigh, Merlin pushed himself out of his bed and slipped on his shoes and jacket.

 _Merlin..._

He crept past Gaius and let his instincts take over. Gradually, he was lead past dozens of stairways, round numerous corners and past a pair of bored guards that were too easy to distract. Grabbing a torch, he crept down a narrow tunnel, going deeper into Camelot's foundations.

 _Merlin_.

"What do you want from me?"

With a huge gust of wind, a golden blur shot across Merlin's field of vision before landing with a crash in front of him. It was with conflicting emotions that Merlin found himself staring into the eyes of a Dragon.

"How small you are for such a great destiny. though i must say, you are here sooner than i has expected. How in the world did you get away?"

Merlin just stared. "What?"

The dragon recoiled slightly before peering at him through narrowed eyes. "You mean you do not know? Your gift, Merlin, was given to you for a reason. The Once and Future King"

Merlin looked bewildered. "Once and Future- Okay, right, continue."

The dragon seemed to frown. "He will face many threats from friend and foe alike."

The dragon seemed to be waiting for a reaction. It's safe to say he didn't get the response he was looking for. "I don't see what this has to do with me."

The dragon now looked up as if trying to see the gods. "Where has time gone wrong? I was sure you would have been told. Balinor would not have-"

"Who's Balinor?"

The dragon recoiled sharply. "You don't remember."

It wasn't a question.

"You have to protect him of Albion, the time of peace for all, will never come to pass. Prince Arthur-"

"Wait, _Prince Pratness_ is this Once and Forever More King?" he asked in disbelief. "Well, If anyone wants to kill him, they can go ahead. In fact, I'll give them a hand."

"None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none of us can escape it."

"No way. No way in _Hell_. There must be another Arthur because this one's a right idiot."

"Perhaps it's your destiny to change that."

* * *

It was in the Physicians Chambers after a rather eventful feast that Merlin had time to ponder his conversation with the Dragon. Merlin had entered with Gaius and the boy found himself once again looking around in wonder at the banquet Uther had ordered as a part of the festival.

The tables were filled with food of all sorts and the people were dressed in all different colours although there was a large amount of red. Arthur was on one side of the room talking loudly of what Merlin could guess was their fight earlier and only stopped when Lady Morgana stepped into the hall.

When he had looked around again, Merlin could have sworn he had seen carved pillars and arches along the walls and large domes in the ceilings, but once he blinked, the walls went flat and square, leaving Merlin confused. Trapped in his musings, he didn't notice Gwen coming up behind him.

Yet another awkward conversation later, the trumpets started again and King Uther entered and everyone hurriedly took their seats.

The trouble came in the form of Lady Helen of Mora. It took awhile for him to realise what had happened as the cobwebs spread from the candlesticks to the sleeping forms of the attendants.

He didn't know how being a _manservant_ of all things counted as a reward for saving the life of a prince but apparently it was a great honour.

Merlin had returned to his room and flopped on to his bed. _Was this what the dragon was talking about. Does this prove what he said?_

With a groan, he tried to use his pillow to block out all his thoughts before he was saved by a knock on the door.

"Seems you're a hero," Gaius' voice said.

"Hard to believe, isn't it?"

"You saved my life remember? I knew it from the moment I met you. You're destined for great things."

"But...that was- I used magic."

Gaius nodded and smiled. "And now, it seems, we have found a use for it."

"What do you mean?"

Gaius only smiled wider. "This book was given to me when I was your age, but I have a feeling it will be of more use to you than it was to me."

Hesitantly, Merlin reached out and took it, pulling off the cover and looking at the title carefully. "This is a book of magic."

Gaius nodded. "Which is why you must keep it hidden. Learn it, use it, and you can save lives."


	3. Chapter 2

**I did say the updates would be inconsistent…**

 **Anyway, from now on, most of the chapters will be shorter than the last but hopefully most of them will be at least around 2,000 words. Hope you enjoy!**

 **NOTE: As this is Fanfiction, can we pretend Merlin wasn't present when Arthur announced that he was getting married to Mithian and that she has two brothers? Awesome.**

 ** _Forgotten Life, Missing Truths_**

A Merlin Fanfic

Over the years, fragments of Merlin's memory slowly returned and, like a jigsaw, he was slowly piecing together the puzzle that was his life before Ealdor.

There were a few particular events that had given Merlin a spark of familiarity: The tournaments that brought men under every coloured flag had been surprisingly entertaining. In fact, they were so much so that while he was over enthusiastically cheering and almost jumping up and down in excitement, he hadn't really questioned the fact that he could almost always predict a persons next move or how he could easily analyse the competitors for strengths and weaknesses.

The first time he had been collecting Arthur's meal and a still warm cinnamon bun had been set to one side on a small plate, he had to consciously force his hand back from where it had been about to snatch it up. The smell had been so inviting and familiar he had been confused for a moment when he had realised it was Arthur's dinner he was carrying, not his own. As he was leaving, busy attempting to keep the tray balanced while weaving between the many servants crowding the kitchen, he had absently thought that they didn't smell as good as Sarah's.

It had been on his way to Ealdor with Gwen and Morgana that he had found himself really using a sword for the first time since arriving (or at least using a sword without Arthur whacking him over the head every ten seconds). Merlin hadn't been able to sleep and had ben tossing about for what seemed like hours already. It wasn't that he hadn't been comfortable, more because there was an annoying tingling in his toes that screamed _danger_! It was only a small while later when he had heard distant hoofbeats and he had practically bolted up right, sword in hand.

Slowly, he had crept into the tree line and waited silently in the shadows. It was when he was about to turn back to the small campsite that he had felt the sharp steel of a sword on his back.

Without thinking, Merlin had spun around and, in a single, flawless stroke, had the offending sword on the ground and his own blade at the offenders neck.

Merlin froze. Then blinked. Squinting in the dark, he could just make out the outline of his opponents dropped jaw. The two both stood in the shadows for a long moment before there was an audible click of teeth snapping together. Another beat past before a familiar voice sounded. "Put the sword down, Merlin. You look ridiculous."

Once back in Camelot, Arthur had pestered Merlin until the two found themselves outside the city walls. After several bruises, complaints and plenty of name calling and rude words, they had discovered Merlin was actually decent with a sword when free of armour, his knife throwing skills were as good as ever, and that under no circumstances was a bow to be put in his hands.

The Dragon hadn't been much helped had so far only managed to frustrate Merlin further. He had been continuously mentioning the name Balinor and dropping hints about Merlin's supposedly extensive magical training. Merlin had only discovered who Balinor was when they had been sent to find the man in _Cenred's_ kingdom of _all_ places. They had been talking about his family when they were attacked. Merlin had discovered Balinor had a son some time ago who never came back from a hunting trip. He had died in Merlin's arms saying that they would be reunited in the afterlife- that he would see his son again, see his _Merlin._

The son in question had then inherited the Dragon Lord traits.

Balinor was his _father_.

His real life father. The man who could have filled in all the blanks in his mind, gone protecting the son he never knew still lived. When back in Camelot, Merlin had grieved for the man he hardly remembered and pestered Gaius for details about him- where he was from, who he was married to- but he had only surfaced with brief answers and further questions.

More snippets were slowly coming together but his mind was still filled with empty spaces and, after trying for so long to remember who he was, Merlin had almost given up hope of ever finding out and resigned himself to attempting a normal life in Camelot.

It would have worked. He was happy and comfortable with nothing to suggest he ever had any sort of internal peril.

That being said, it _would_ have worked… if Morgana hadn't felt the need to interfere and Gwen hadn't been exiled. Merlin had often mused that fate and destiny just loved making his life difficult. It seemed they hadn't run out of ideas yet and his idea of a quiet life- discounting the wars, magical attacks and the odd goblet or two- was thrown out the window, trampled by a griffin and struck by lightning.

Instead, his life got a whole lot messier.

* * *

The grand castle of Camelot was alive with activity. The announcement that a member of Nemethian Royalty was coming to Camelot had sent the occupants into, well, a royal panic.

The servants were practically sprinting down the halls carrying buckets, mops, sponges and scrubbing brushes in every direction. The kitchens had been transformed into a furnace with the fires constantly lit as the scullery maids scurried about as the cook threw orders left right and centre, all the while screaming at Gwaine for trying to steal the apples.

The store holders were putting out their best produce to show off to the foreigners. People were cleaning the streets, putting flowers at the doors of every house, even the tavern had taken care to clean itself up.

It seemed there was only one person in the entire kingdom of Camelot who wasn't elated at the upcoming visit and was instead sulking, sitting in the Royal Physicians chambers. Merlin was moodily stabbing at his breakfast, thinking of Gwen, when Gaius interrupted. "You haven't said a word this morning."

"I'm thinking," Merlin replied shortly.

Gaius raised an eyebrow. "You know how bad that is for you," he said without a hint of humour.

Merlin sighed heavily, tossing his spoon into his bowl. "It is Arthur's fate to marry Gwen."

"If that's the case, then he will."

"But am I supposed to do anything about it?" Merlin asked, desperately.

The eyebrow rose higher. "You don't think that's a little arrogant?"

"Yes!" Merlin burst, then paused. "And no. I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore."

"You could start by eating your porridge," Gaius deadpanned.

Merlin sighed again and picked up his spoon but before he could take another bite, a knock sounded at the door and Sir Leon entered.

"Gaius, I have a message from Lord Agravaine. He requires your presence."

* * *

While Gaius had gone with Sir Leon, Merlin had spent the morning tending to Arthur. This wasn't a new or particularly interesting occurrence, not by a long shot. However, there was one thing that was new.

Arthur was already up, and Merlin wasn't late.

Even worse, the entire time Merlin was there, too matter how many quips he made about Arthur's belt, not a single object came his way.

When Merlin was on his way down to the kitchens, he had been stopped many times by other servants asking how he felt about the arriving princess to which he had replied that he was looking forward to meeting her. This had only earned him confused and sympathetic looks before they had hurried away.

All in all, his morning had been strange to say the least.

It was just past noon that Merlin was standing of the front steps of the castle with Arthur looking very uncomfortable in his formal crown and a short while later, the clopping sound of hooves broke the quiet muttered conversations of the greeting party.

The foreign guards and knights supported dark forest green banners and capes, so different from the sharp Camelot red. As they came to a stop, Arthur called out to them. "Knights of Nemeth, Camelot welcomes you and extends the hand of friendship."

A tense moment passed when nothing happened. Then, in one move, the guards and Knights shuffled sideways and a single horse was lead forward, a figure draped in white fabrics sitting in the saddle. As Arthur descended the steps, his deep breath was audible from where Merlin was standing. He came to a stop when Princess lifted her veil.

There was a moment of stillness before Arthur's jaw dropped slightly as he took in her beauty. There was a long second in which everyone on the steps also had the chance to take in her appearance; dark hair framed a pale face with soft features and deep eyes that stood out against her snow white complexion.

After another moment, Arthur seemed to collect himself and threw his shoulders back and walked forward as she dismounted. "Princess Mithian," he started. "You are most welcome."

"Thank you, Your Highness," Mithian replied formally, her voice strong and rich. "I have heard much about you," she stated simply.

Arthur shuffled slightly, searching for something to say in return. He was saved when the princess smiled slightly. "Are we to stay in this chill all day?" she asked politely yet pointedly, her smile growing.

"Ah, yes of course. Forgive me."

Arthur paused for a moment before he extended his hand to her which she took with a slightly sadder smile.

"Tomorrow," Arthur announced, "there will be a great feast to welcome our worthy friends."

Applause broke the near silence of the courtyard and smile graced every face until Merlin's faded quickly and was replaced with a small frown.

 _She seems so familiar…_

* * *

Less than an hour later, the thought had completely fled Merlin's mind and he was dashing about the castle, ensuring that everything was in order for when Arthur emerged from the formal greeting. So far, the only thing he had left to do was ensure the maidservant assigned to Princess Mithian was ready and waiting for when she decided to retire to her chambers.

He was on his way down to the kitchens to find her when he almost literally ran straight into her.

"Sorry, sorry" she muttered hastily. "I know I was was meant to be waiting in her rooms but I was talking to-"

"It's fine," Merlin quickly interrupted. Eliza was known to never stop speaking once she started. "We'll go there now," he said with a small smile.

Eliza breathed a sigh of relief and they turned to make their way to the chambers where Mithian had been settled. They walked in silence for a while until Eliza broke it with a rather interesting question. "Are you looking forward to serving Princess Mithian?"

Merlin tuned his head slightly toward her. "As much as can be expected," he replied slowly. "But I presume you will be serving her more than I."

She looked surprised. "Really? I had thought… Never mind. It must be a bit strange, isn't it," she stated more than asked. "To think you'll not only be serving the King but the _Queen_ as well. I mean, everyone already knows you're Arthur's favourite but you might have to start all over again with the Queen-"

Merlin turned sharply, making her come to a sudden halt. "Who said anything about _Queen?_ "

Eliza looked confused. "Well that's what she's here for, isn't it? One of the things with that agreements over Gedref. The King and Princess Mithian are to marry to make the thing official and concrete. Everyone's been talking about it. The cook had been going completely nuts trying to figure out the food for the- Hey, where are you going?"

Merlin interrupted her thoughts as he spun on his heel, his brows furrowed and eyes hard. "You carry on," he ordered in a cold tone. "I need to have a chat with our King."

With that, he marched down the hall, ignoring her calls to stop and come back as no one was allowed in the hall.

By the times he reached the large double doors, he was breathing heavily and his hands were in tight fists. Any servants that had been hanging outside the doors had vanished after one look at him and he was left with only two terrified guards to get past. There was one thing everyone knew:

Something explosive was about to happen.

* * *

Arthur had almost finished the official welcome. The princess had assured him that her party was not too tired to start looking over the contract between the two kingdoms before her brothers arrived in a few days time. The visitors had been seated and the next few days had been outlined to them. Everything was going so smoothly Arthur knew something had to go wrong as he was finishing.

"I hope that this year may be one of peace and prosperity between our kingdoms and that we have many more-"

He was cut off as the throne room doors flew open and a tall figure stormed in. The air around Merlin was crackling with what only Merlin and Gaius recognised as magic and his face was twisted in fury.

" _You_. You…" Merlin couldn't find the words.

"Yes _Mer_ lin? Are you going to finish that sentence? Because if you aren't, you can get-"

" _YOU CABBAGE HEAD! YOU DOLLOP-HEADED PRAT!"_

Merlin's voice echoed around the court room and everyone who had turned away when they saw him whipped their heads back.

"GWEN'S HARDLY BEEN GONE A FEW _MONTHS_ AND YOU'RE ALREADY PRETENDING TO BE _COMPLETELY_ OVER HER! YOU ARE THE BIGGEST- THE _BIGGEST-"_

" _Mer_ lin. We are in the middle of a council meeting with representatives from another kingdom. You are to take your petty arguments and childish insults-"

"THE BIGGEST _PRAT_ I HAVE _EVER_ KNOWN. YOU ARE IGNORING YOUR FEELINGS AND TRAPPING BOTH YOURSELF _AND_ THIS GIRL IN A MARRIAGE THAT YOU _KNOW_ YOU DON'T WANT. _YOUR_ HAPPINESS MATTERS TOO AND IT IS _NOT-"_

Arthur stood from his chair at the head of the room and looked down at Merlin. " _You_ are not at right to tell _me_ what I want or don't want to do. _I_ am the King of Camelot and I am _ordering_ you, _Mer_ lin, to take this elsewhere."

Arthur and Merlin locked eyes and glowered at each other before Merlin raised his chin high and turned on heel, not. Opening one of the double doors out of the silent council room, he stepped half out then stopped and turned his head slightly.

"Then we _will_ talk about this later. Oh, and by the way," Merlin turned around, taking something from his pocket and throwing it at Arthur. He caught it with practiced ease and looked at it in confusion. It was the bracelet _she_ left behind. "Gwen was under an enchantment."

The door closed behind him leaving a disbelieving and silent council.


	4. Chapter 3

**I know, I know, it's been a while… okay, a** ** _very_** **long while but I passed most of my internal assessments with Excellence so you can forgive me… right? It's a bit short as well but it sort of felt right to end it there. I've made Leon a bit OOC in this story and he comes across a little dense but I sort of needed someone to be and he was the first knight I thought of in his immortal awesomeness… Please don't hate me.**

* * *

 _ **Forgotten Life, Missing Truths**_

A Merlin Fanfic

"I can't believe that Lance would do something like that to Gwen and Arthur."

"I can't believe that he would do _anything_ to hurt _anyone_."

"Especially Gwen."

"Or Arthur."

"I can't believe you are all saying you can't believe it, yet you still do."

Merlin walked into the room where Leon, Elyan, Gwaine and Percival were sitting and plopped down into one of the empty chairs.

"What do you mean," Elyan asked curiously.

"That wasn't Lancelot."

"Of course it was. We all saw him," Leon huffed, dejectedly.

"No it wasn't. Well, it was but not really. It was a Shade."

"Shade?"

Merlin sighed and rubbed his temples. "I don't want to repeat myself. Arthur will be coming soon."

Sure enough, the sound of heavy armoured footsteps grew gradually louder as the frankly pissed off king came raging down the corridor towards them.

"Okay _Mer_ lin," Arthur started with a growl, "would you care to explain why you thought it a good idea to insult _and_ embarrass me, your _king,_ in front of visiting nobility?"

For his part, Merlin did not cower, merely looked Arthur in the eye and said, "I believe you are making a mistake."

Arthur stared at him for a moment in disbelief before he threw his head back and laughed. "Oh that's brilliant Merlin," he chuckled, wiping away a fake tear. "To think that just because _you_ believe something will make it okay to completely go against my orders is hilarious. Now tell me," Arthur suddenly leant forward and slammed his hands and the bracelet on the table. " _What gave you the right?"_

It surprised all the knights when Merlin did not twitch a finger in response. He simply stared Arthur in the eye, silently saying everything his mouth didn't. Slowly, to the shock of the others, Arthur hesitated slightly before he lowered himself into the chair across from his manservant.

"Speak," was his simple command.

Merlin wasted no time. "Morgana tricked you. Lancelot, he really did die that night. She… raised his body but his mind was hers to control. That bracelet had an enchantment on it, like a love potion. It brought all her past feelings about him back again."

Merlin paused, trying to figure out the best way to proceed and not get his head chopped off. "Gwen did love Lancelot before he died. The bracelet forced her to love him again."

"And her love for him was stronger than hers for me?"

"No, Arthur. Gwen loved you-"

"But that's what you said isn't it?" Arthur demanded, his voice getting louder every second. "You said it brought back how she felt before. Measuring them up, her feelings for him were stronger and when he died, I was the fall back, the second choice and the moment he came back-"

"FOR GODS SAKE, ARTHUR!"

Merlin leapt from his chair and it crashed to the ground with a sharp _crack!_ "Do yourself a favour and _listen_ to what is coming out of your mouth. You _know_ that Gwen loved you! You _know_ that she would _never_ do something like this to _anyone, past love or not!_ Stop being such a dollop-headed _idiot_ and start _thinking!"_

No one said anything after Merlin's tirade. His eyes were narrowed and he was breathing heavily. Arthur, was on the other end of the scale, his eyes screwed shut and head bowed, his fists clenched on the table in front of him. When he did speak, his voice was quiet and desperate but simmering with anger.

"How do I know? How do I know that the woman I fell in love with wasn't just the facade of some social climbing impersonator? How can I say I know her, say that she loved me, when my mind is telling me she is two different people?"

The knights watched as Merlin's face fell, the anger completely deserting him and leaving sorrow and regret to fill the gaps.

"I know it must be hard," he started softly. "The life you've known has… changed what with Morgana and your father. Gwen was-"

"Don't."

Arthur's knuckles were white and his eyes were downcast and misty. "Don't mock me with everything I've lost. I don't need reminding."

Merlin slumped forward as Arthur threw his shoulders back and cleared his face of emotions. "Princess Mithian is to become allied through marriage, giving us more aid in the fight against… Morgana."

With that, Arthur turned on heel, leaving Merlin to listen to the door slam behind him.

The knights remained silent as Merlin took a deep breath, picked up the chair off the floor and sat with his head in his hands.

"So…" Gwaine started. "Lancelot is still an awesome person and not a happiness wreaking moron?"

"I suppose so," Elyan muttered, glancing sideways at Merlin.

Silence.

"You need a drink mate."

Merlin lifted his head and glared at Gwaine.

"Second thought, I need one too. Come on, lets get sloshed."

* * *

Merlin did end up going to the tavern but the tankard or mead Gwaine had pushed in front of him remained untouched. Later that evening, Merlin watched from the shadows as Princess Mithian started a conversation with Arthur.

The two were almost complete opposites of each other, dark and light- one with light hair and eyes with a healthy tan while the other had dark hair and eyes with a skin like the purest snow- but in some strange way, they suited each other. In no time at all, the two were laughing and smiling, their eyes bright.

It was a sickening sight, one Merlin was determined to put a stop to.

"Would you like more soup, sire?" he asked loudly from behind him.

Arthur glanced at him for a second and muttered "no, thanks," before turing right back to Mithian again.

"You sure?" he interrupted again.

Arthur's eye twitched slightly and he turned at face Merlin fully, whose own face was etched into a scowl. "Merlin, you've asked me that three times now, will you just…"

He made a pointed gesture with his hands and Merlin gave him an icy smile that somehow came out completely innocent before turing away. A moment later, Merlin's eyes glowed a brilliant gold and a self-satisfied smirk broke across his face as the conversation between the two royals stopped as they stared at the soup Arthur had conveniently spilt on himself.

"Er...sorry, I, earm…" Arthur spluttered as Merlin's smirk extended into an evil grin.

"No harm done."

The grin disappeared and Merlin's scowl cam back in full force as he turned and saw Mithian using her own napkin to help Arthur while Arthur's eyes were warm and wide as he looked at her. To anyone passing by, they looked to be completely in love and had been happily married for years.

Oh God, he was going to throw up. Merlin nearly cheered when Agravaine interrupted them.

"The vaults are secure, my lord, and, er...there were no plans missing."

"Thank you for performing your duties with such haste, Uncle," Arthur started before a mischievous twinkle entered his eyes. "Now you have to make up for lost time! We're to have dancing and I hear that your jig used to be something to behold," Arthur declared with a large smile.

Agravaine's small polite smile wavered. "Er…"used" is the word, sire. A-alas I am not as nimble as I once was."

"Nonsense," Arthur waved off.

Agravaine was quick to interject. "I do feel that dancing is best performed in youth and appreciated in age."

Arthur chuckled and Mithian's quiet laugher brought a small, rueful smile to Merlin's face as Agravaine fled without a backwards glance.

 _She hasn't changed_


	5. Chapter 4

**Please don't hate me. When I said slow and irregular updates, I mean** ** _slow and irregular updates_** **(though it should speed up a bit now, no more year-long waits)** ** _._** **I know where this is going and I just need to get there and I WILL finish this… eventually…**

 ** _Forgotten Life, Missing Truths_**

A Merlin Fanfic

When Merlin was woken up at some ungodly hour of the morning to Arthur's sickeningly cheerful voice pounding into his head, he knew he was in for a long day.

When he was told by a despicably giddy prat that he had to get everything ready for a picnic in half an hour, skipping his own breakfast and having to run up and down what seemed like every single corridor in the entire castle to find everything he needed, he knew he was wrong.

Today was going to be _torturous_.

Not to mention, he then had to have several goes at tying everything to a single horse. _Then_ , Arthur had apparently decided to take Mithian on the "scenic route" around the castle and while Merlin was patiently waiting for them (i.e. falling asleep next to the horses), they were casually strolling through the castle for an extra half hour.

Then there was the cabbage-headed, dollop-headed _prat_ that came with them.

Mithian and Arthur had finally arrived, both disgustingly cheerful, and a small crowd of servants and nobles were following at a respectful distance behind them. Many of the nobles were in polite uncomfortable conversations but one was standing alone, eyes narrowed, watching the royal coupe like a hawk.

He was tall, his hair dark and greasy but Merlin thought he must have a good servant as it wasn't immediately noticeable. His face was unhealthily pale with skeletal features and very high, very sharp cheekbones. He wore the robes of a noble house, dark blue embroiled with red, purple and gold and though they were very well made, they hung of his frame slightly, making him appear sickly and discomposed. In principle he looked like a noble, but his shoulders were hunched and his eyes too small and beady to be kind or approachable, subtle details that made Merlin think he wasn't a very good one.

Merlin immediately didn't trust him.

"Ah good, you're here," Arthur called as he approached, Mithian by his side.

Merlin's face flattened into a deadpan stare as he straightened. "Yes sire, I, for one, was on time."

Arthur laughed and clapped Merlin on the shoulder. "Finally, you're getting the idea. Princess, this is my manservant, Merlin. I presume you remember him," Arthur finished, dryly.

There was a pause as Merlin looked flushed and shuffled slightly, avoiding looking at the princess. "Erm… yeah. Sorry about that."

When he looked up, the first thing he saw was her eyes. They were brown, not exactly an uncommon eye colour, but as the same time, they were so much more. They were almost black around the edges yet in the lazy morning sun, they seemed to sparkle like they were scattered with stardust. They were piercing but at the same time kind, like fire and ice woven together with ribbons of justice and benevolence.

And _love._

Merlin did not in any way trust easily, but when looking into the eyes of this foreign princess, he felt… _safe._ He _knew_ her. He felt like he was home. _She_ felt like home. It was a completely new feeling, and it felt _wonderful._

Her hair, long, dark and soft-looking, fell down her back in soft waves, framing smooth, pale, perfect skin and bringing out those wide, bright, brilliant eyes.

Nothing moved. The air was frozen. Sound went silent. Time stood still as the bluest skies and the deepest earth clashed together in a long moment.

"Princess?" Arthur asked.

Time started again and Mithian blinked unseeingly before starting. "I-I'm sorry, what was that?" Mithian stuttered.

Merlin dropped his head and looked at the tip of his scuffed boots as Arthur reached out a hand to brush her shoulder. Merlin's stomach tightened.

"Are you well? Perhaps we should go another day so you can rest some more," Arthur suggested gently.

"No, no," Mithian shook her head lightly. "I am well, my lord, I was simply distracted for a moment. What was it you were saying?"

It took Merlin a moment to register that the princess was addressing him and he hurries to answer. "I, uh, I wanted to apologise for my actions the other day. It was inappropriate and I am sorry for any offence I caused you."

Mithian stared at him a moment before looking away. "I- Yes, of course. It was no trouble."

She hesitated a moment and looked as if she was to say something else before she spun to Arthur abruptly. "Where are we going this morning, my lord?"

Arthur hesitated, looking confused a moment and glancing between his manservant and betrothed before plastering a smile on his face. "A picnic," he said. "I thought we should go to the woods. There are some lovely places in the surrounding forests where I am sure we could find a suitable spot."

Mithian liked at him for a brief second before smiling hesitantly. "Yes, of course, that sounds lovely. Shall we be off then?"

She turned towards her horse and Arthur stepped forward to aid her. Slowly, still slightly dazed, Merlin turned towards his own horse and climbed up among the baskets and blankets. Within a few short minutes they were heading out of the courtyard. Just before going through the gates, Merlin shivered slightly and glanced back. The tall, dark man from before watched them leaving, his dark eyes narrowed. Merlin quickly turned back forwards and pushed to catch up with the royal duo who had sped ahead.

The cold feeling lingered.

* * *

One could say Mithian had been upset when she was told she was to be used as a bargaining chip for land between two kingdoms. She, of course, had known that one day she was going to be married off to some rich noble but moving across a kingdom was a bit more dramatic than alternating between the castle and a local fiefdom. However, as a princess, she had a duty to her kingdom and it was her duty to aid her people in any way.

That doesn't mean she was thrilled with the idea.

When she had learned that she was to be marring King Arthur of Camelot, she was rather surprised. She was heard of the negotiations between the two kingdoms and knew that her father and brothers had been involved in the conditions of the agreement but she had thought that they would simply split the lands and maybe create some sort of trade agreement to cement the deal and keep the peace. She hadn't thought that she would be marrying the king of a kingdom that they had practically been at war with for as long as she could remember.

It had been years since she had thought about marriage, years since she was young enough to dream about marrying for love and maybe, just _maybe,_ there being someone she would even want to marry.

But that was a long time ago. Now, Mithian found herself riding towards Camelot, towards a man who she had only heard of in rather ridiculous and outlandish stories.

King Arthur was described as a fair and kind king, wise beyond his years. The tales of his triumphs had reached even her sheltered ears and she could admit to finding him attractive from his portraits. If she was honest with herself, he was someone that she could come to love, if what she had heard was true.

But that did not mean she wanted this. What she _really_ wanted…

Mithian squared her shoulders as she rode into the lower town, the knights before her cleaning the way. There was no point in dwelling on the fantasies of a young, naive girl; not when the real world was about to make itself known.

The trumpets blared as they entered the courtyard, a wall of red capes and chainmail greeting them. And at the front…

Mithian could not see much of her future husband, the knights wearing Nemeth's own dark green blocking her view. A flash of a golden crown, polished chainmail and strong stance was her first, fleeting impression of her future king.

"Knights of Nemeth, Camelot welcomes you and extends the hand of friendship."

A strong voice broke the sudden silence as the horses stilled and the trumpets stopped playing. Then the horses parted and Mithian studies her future husband's behind her veil. He stood tall and strong, commanding respect from his subjects and, it would seem, his visitors. His blond hair was smooth and gleamed in the light, his crown, only a slightly darker gold, gave no room to questions who this person was.

This was Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot, Slayer of Dragons, Survivor of the Questing Beast, Defeater of an Immortal Army.

Suddenly, Mithian was nervous.

As she rode forward towards this great king, _her future king_ , she suddenly worried about how she would be received at his side. Would his people expect a stronger queen than her, someone prettier, smarter? Mithian was in no way weak, but perhaps next to Arthur she would be and the people would be disappointed with her. Would they have preferred a noble of their own kingdom to become their queen over a princess of a former enemy. Or perhaps this great king only wanted what most other kings desired, a trophy to be polished and presented at his will. Would he disapprove of her love of hunting, her boredom with embroidery…

Would he disapprove of her?

Suddenly, he was right in front of her. With only a moments pause, she reached up to lift her veil.

 _Well that's reassuring._

As Arthur stood in awe (which she gladly accepted with no remorse), Mithian studied him in more detail. His hair was darker than she had originally thought, the crown too. His face was smooth and well groomed however there was a hollowness to his cheeks, a darkness beneath his eyes, that spoke of great hardships since coming into his role so suddenly. His eyes, a light and sparkling yet rather shadowed blue, were deep and…

 _Wrong._

All of it was wrong. He was too light; the hair the eyes the stance, they were all _wrong._

A small rueful smile crept its way upon her face. _Its been five years_. Five years and he is still gone. _It is about time you moved on._

Mithian nodded slightly to herself. Slipping from her horse, she faced her new king straight on.

"Princess Mithian," he said with a small bow. "You are most welcome."

"Thank you, Your Highness," Mithian replied formally, hoping her voice didn't waver. "I have heard much about you."

Her father had told her to compliment him somehow and yet Mithian found that she couldn't, why should she if she did not know him well enough to compliment something worthwhile? There was a slight pause wherein Arthur looked slightly lost and she smiled, her first true smile since coming here. At least he too was unsure, slightly awkward. Taking pity on him slightly, she searched for something to say. "Are we to stay in this chill all day?"

"Ah, yes of course. Forgive me."

She felt her smile growing. _This, at least, is familiar. Maybe it could work…_

* * *

Meetings were not Mithian's favourite pastime, however she did make an attempt to listen, if only to not look life a complete idiot if she was called upon. This one, however, was particularly repetitive; welcome, we are here because blah, we hope for blah in the future, how great it is to have peace after so many years. It got tedious very quickly.

It was during Arthur's final speech that Mithian suddenly felt a small tingling down her spine. Frowning slightly, she turned just in time to see the doors fly open.

A tall figure strode in, dark hair and blue eyes flashing. He was wearing simple clothes, a red dark shirt beneath a warn jacket with a blue scarf circling his neck. They hung off his lanky frame, only held in by a thin belt around waist. Simple trousers and brown boots completed this look, identifying the man as a servant. However, as he stalked towards the King of Camelot, he resembled someone of great power as his eyes flashed with clenched fists and straight back. The air around him cracked as if powered with electricity. As he approached, Mithian took not of his large ears and delicate but strong hands. He looked rather familiar and yet should couldn't quite-

Mithian's breath caught.

It was… no, it wasn't. It couldn't be…

Mithian studied the man in front of her. She barely registered that he had started shouting as she took in his features. Black hair, so dark it shined. Eyes that contained everything from the lightest of greys to the most beautiful blues. It was…

 _Impossible._

Mithian shook herself out of her daze as Arthur sent the boy away after a long moment. Mithian's eyes continued to follow him, even as he paused and said something to Arthur, until the door was shut behind him with an echoing bang.

Arthur sighed and ran a hand down his face, which rearranged itself with great care from the agonised expression it held to a more neutral mask. He bowed slightly towards the room saying, "You have my sincerest apologies."

There was another pause before Sir Bellivoire spoke up. "Who has that, sire?"

"My manservant," she let out a shaky breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Merlin."

Mithian's hands gripped her seat.


End file.
